I spent a LOT more than I was anticipating.  The problem is that boys are naturally drawn to shiny metal things with flashing lights and buttons to press and DJ equipment is really the ultimate collection of boy toys.

I had asked my old DJ friend Tony McQue for his top tips.  I have always trusted Tony’s advice as he is a techie at heart combined with a slightly natural OCD tendency to research stuff properly.  I’m a bit more gung-ho with my buying so it pays to listen to his advice.  He initially prescribed a trip to the Apple Store.  My first visit, actually, despite owning an iPhone and iPad.  Now that is a shop you can spend cash in.  I initially bought an MacBook Air but Tony advised I needed more power so I ended up walking out with a top of the range MacBook Pro.  I guess it will look good with that Apple logo glowing at gigs!

Next up was software and a controller.  The new Denon MCX8000 was the obvious choice.  It has split-cue which is must-have feature for me.  Strangely a lot of other models don’t have it.  When it arrived I was a little surprised at its sheer size.  It’s BIG.  Not exactly portable for gigs but certainly has stage presence.  I bought a second-hand Denon MC6000 Mk2 for the space-limited events.

Then I invested in some Electronic Voice speakers (awesome round sound), audio-technica ATH-M50X headphones and cables and I have one serious set-up.  Now I just need to plug it all in and see if I can remember how to mix.  Fingers crossed.

So there were two burning questions that I had as I plugged five grand’s worth of new toys together… will it work and will I still work?  I’ve not mixed a tune for five years and there was definitely some mix-based nerves as I flicked the switches and powered everything into life.

The nerves were short-lived when I realised that the laptop was only half talking to the decks.  Tracks were loading but it wouldn’t let me actually play them.  Clearly this was user error of some sort but I couldn’t figure what for the life of me.  Being a man it’s against the law to read any instruction manuals but I was utterly defeated, read them, learned nothing and messaged support for both Serato DJ and Denon.  Well done Serato Customer Service (can’t blame them for the New Zealand time lag)… they responded quickly and with sensible advice / questions.  Didn’t solve the problem though.  Two days of support and no progress.  So I decided to do the honorable thing and unplug the whole lot and start again.  It was during this process that I realised I had only half pushed the USB cable into the mixer.  Doh.  Very embarrassed I messaged Serato to thank them for their help and point out the error of my ways.  Equipment now up and running – can I still actually mix?

I originally learnt to mix CDs but quickly transferred my skills onto vinyl which isn’t that much different.  The art of beat mixing isn’t a genetic skill you are born with.  It’s a pure hand / eye thing that you learn with practice.  Hearing how two different tracks differ in speed by fractions of a percent and then adjusting them back in-line is the skill that we all strive for when we want to become DJs.  I’m delighted to say that once you’ve got have it, it apparently doesn’t leave.  Even after five years.  Like riding a bike DJing.  Or something.

My first mix sounded good and was technically flawless.  A very promising start.  The truth is that these days you could buy the equipment that I have with no prior DJ experience, turn up to a club and make a pretty good stab at it.  Hit anything button that says SYNC and the decks do all the work for you.  I reckon if you went through the Top 20 chart doing that most people wouldn’t even know you are rank amateur.  It’s like auto-pilot on an aeroplane.  It frees up pilots’ brain-power to worry about other things.  That’s not to say that you shouldn’t have the basic flying skills, but those automatic systems are very helpful.

So why hire a DJ in 2016?  Well music choice is obviously something we know about.  We can guage a crowd’s mood and choose the tracks to manipulate that.  Speed things up, slow them down.  Keep it cool, cheesey, dancey, hip-hoppy.  We know what’s needed at what time and can feel / manipulate the atmosphere accordingly.  Also having all this technology behind us does free up capacity to add more effects to our mixes.  If the decks are syncing the beats then we have all this extra capacity to add samples, loops, rolls and effects to the output.  It’s like making a Sunday roast and serving with two veg.  Now we have the time to add spices, gravy, Yorkshire pudds, and a béarnaise sauce.  You get more bang for your buck.  My suspicion is that there will be plenty of people calling themselves DJs out there who can’t beat mix and rely on the technology.  I’m afraid they ain’t DJs in my book.  Turn off those SYNC buttons and watch the look on their faces…

Nope.  I definitely did not see that one coming.  Sat minding my own business in DJ retirement without a care in the world and the world knocks on the door.

I should explain.  In 2012 I had been DJing for 15 years straight with a lot of long nights.  I had always said it is a young man’s game and I can confirm that those 5am finishes don’t get any easier as the years drift on.  I had also lost some of the passion for the job.  It really was a job after all.  When a taxi driver asks you what you do for a living and you say DJ they always ask what is your other, proper job.  People just don’t believe that you can DJ professionally.  But I did.  For fifteen years.  I had to find a longer-term career as my 30th birthday came and went and thankfully flying had started to, erm, take-off.  When I took that final bow at the last VIBE it felt right to retire and leave on a relative high.

People often ask whether I missed DJing.  The honest answer is no.  I had really done it, got the t-shirt and a few scars to prove it.  I haven’t yearned a night in a club since 2012.  I have maintained a love of music, of course, and sometimes think ‘yeh that’s great VIBE track’ but otherwise DJ retirement has been bliss.

So it was a little unexpected that I find myself sorting playlists and preparing for my come-back.  What actually happened was I was preparing to buy myself a new laptop and realised that 90% of the space on my hard-drive is of photos of drunk people in my various club nights taken by professional photographers over the years.  They are of little interest to me so I uploaded them all onto a Facebook page for the rest of the world to share amongst each other.

There was a real stirring of emotions as people saw these photos for the first time in years and the comments were so touching.  When was I going to do a VIBE?  Really?  It’s been years though?!  Well, I suppose I could.  And now I am.  Club booked, tickets delivered and on sale (and selling… phew!).  This is really happening.

And it feels good.  Really good.  It also feels right.  I am not planning on giving up my day job as an airline captain but I’ve some ideas of afternoon, more age-appropriate, gigs that I can do and get back in the game a bit.  Having VIBE 2016 to prepare for is actually an easy way in.  I don’t have to update musically too much as people will be expecting the tracks from that era.  Now I just have to buy the equipment.  It’s been five years since I last spun and I suspect times are a changing.  Watch this space.